These are my dress clothes

C: The Final Four

It is Motown night on American Idol and Smoky Robinson is back. Smoky is my own personal American Idol, not because of his musical success, but because though he is almost 70, he never looks a day over 35. I like to assume he has been using a high-SPF sunscreen his whole life but my husband believes he has "had work done". I really just can't imagine Smoky having plastic surgery though because that would be weird, and thus I am right - it is all just proper sun care.

Not that I have any moral issue with plastic surgery, I just have a problem with its cost. As much as I would love jacking my face up with Botox, my budget does not allow it and thus I am forced to look at my expanding crows feet and deep wrinkles daily. The good news is that though I'm not willing to pay for surgery (yet), I'm totally willing to spend a ridiculous percentage of my disposable income on various creams/lotions/potions that promise to stop aging.

I have had a 7-year long tournament of eye creams in which I alternated various products on the market  to compare their efficacy (elevator word of the day), testing each product for at least 6 weeks.

Here are some products that DO NOT live up to their claims and are a complete waste of money:

• Strivectin - total crap; I don't care that Isaac Mizrahi endorses it (though I did love his entire line for Target...RIP)
• Neutrogena - any version; a halfway decent standby if you are in a pinch but nothing to rely on when it comes to your looks....which we all know is the basis for your ENTIRE happiness and success in life
• Nivea Q10 - waste of space on the shelf
• Juice Organics - great if all you want to do is hug trees your whole life in a forest with no mirrors

Here are some products that make the grade according to my ultra-scientific studies:

• Sabon- they have this shitake mushroom eye cream that is divine: feels good, smells good, does a good job....yeah for mushrooms!
• Olay Regenerist - I have not been overly impressed but Consumer Reports says it is the best and I generally do whatever consumer reports says to do; plus it is cheap and readily available anywhere
• Burt's Bees Radiance - smells slightly old lady-like but feels wonderful and is ultra moisturizing; now available in Target and Walmart for us regular folks

• Sleep - I know, total cop-out, but it is really true. I look about 20 years older than I actually am since I had my son and reduced my average time asleep to about 4-6 hours a night from the 9 I was used to prior. My coworkers even tried to throw me a 30th birthday party when I was turning 29. I punished them by not speaking to them for weeks, I tactic I often employ in the work environment to admittedly disappointing results.

Feel free to comment if you have anymore good suggestions, unlike the lame NCAA tournament, the eye cream tournament does not end in April.

C: Sunny Days...

So I have been spending a lot of time watching The Street these days...you know, Sesame Street. Yep, my life is fabulous. But after a 25+ year gap, I find it completely fascinating.

• I find it completely fascinating that kids can tolerate Elmo, who is clearly the spawn of Satan sent to destroy all eardrums
• I find it completely fascinating that the writers thought that "glockenspiel" was a good "word for the day"....out of all the words a preschooler should be mastering? My kid cannot say "blankie" and they are suggesting he try "glockenspiel"? I guarantee those writers totally got beat up in preschool. And the worst part of it is that now I know what a damn glockenspiel is and I'm fairly certain that knowledge replaced something really important in my limited brain space.
• I find it completely fascinating that Prairie Dawn still has that wretched haircut - some people cannot pull off bangs.
• I find it completely fascinating that Chris Brown did not get a Grammy nod with the song "See the Signs"...it has been in my head for 2 weeks and I am still not annoyed! I can only assume that the Recording Academy does not, as a collective group, consist of large amounts of 2 year olds. 
• I find it completely fascinating that I did not hear about this at the office water cooler - seriously the best TV I have seen in YEARS: check it here.

Just when you think they have lost their appeal, they pull you pack in. I can't wait to see what they come up with in another 25 years! You know, when I'm 35.

A: Where will all the grownups go?

I talked to JJ (pseudo-name for my brother) last night about this blog.  He read it for the first time and his comment was,“it’s like you are a 14 year old”. His second comment was, “that’s not an insult, just an observation”.

Now, I know being a kid is a whole lot less fun since the mandatory sunscreen rule, but I can’t see how this could be an insult?  Recently, I was trading cd’s with my 10 year old cousin who stated simply, "you and I have a lot in common".  So after that, 14 is a big step up.  What makes JJ’s comment interesting to me is that clearly he is in complete denial that there is no longer a generational gap between 30 year olds and teenagers.  We all, on some level, are in touch with our inner 14 year old.  It’s a phenomenon unique to the times and we will all be better off if we can stop living in denial and embrace the peter pan syndrome that is sweeping the nation.   

Many of you are in denial like JJ.  Think about it…

Do you still walk around with your ipod buds in your ears? 

How many of you can’t get enough Wii? 

Do you ever wear jean’s to work?  

How many friend’s do you have on Facebook? 

What’s the most you’ve spent on a pair of jeans that look like they’ve been worn in? 

Who hasn’t read either Harry Potter or Twilight and thought this is the best book I’ve ever read? 

Do you love new stuff like HDTVs, touch phones and anything Apple? 

Face it….you're just like a teenager, but with more discretionary funds. This is not a personal theory.  Books have been published about it.  And New York Magazine even wrote a feature article about it where the author termed a new phrase for it, “grups”.  One of the biggest distinguishing features of a grup is that the parents of grups would trade a pay day for a vacation day any day.  What impresses a “grup” is someone in their 30s who can still sleep in on a week day.  I can vouch for this.  I am self employed and the comment I get most frequently from people is not about my earning potential but rather how lucky I am that I can work at will and travel freely. 

Now why does any of this matter?  Because it’s time to pick a side.  With the number of grownups who absolutely refuse to grow up increasing every year, you need to think about where you want to end up.  Do you want to be one of those people who own more pairs of khaki’s than you do jeans and just can’t understand what’s the big deal with the Jonas Brothers?  Or would you rather be the kind of grown up who goes shopping with your kid at H&M and can explain that the reason the Jonas Brother’s are so popular is because they remind everybody of the evolution of Tom Hanks?  

So what should you do to please your inner 14 year old?

• Go to itunes and download Britney’s new CD
• Vote in the next round of American Idol
• Take your kids to Starbucks
• Hang out in the YA section of the bookstore

Not only will you find yourself more satisfied with life, you also be more prepared to face the future of American culture.

A: Super Bowl Sunday, Again?

According to the Comcast TV listing and guide, the Steelers will be playing the Cardinals this weekend in the Super Bowl. 

I have no further comment on the specifics of the sports aspect of this event, so stop reading if that is where your interest lies.  However, if you are like me and are interested in commentary related to the heart of game (the halftime show and commercials), please--read on.

Halftime show: It appears that the NFL’s decision to have Bruce Springsteen perform at the halftime show marks the fifth year in a row that we are forced to watch old people sing and dance.  I mean, seriously - when will we stop having to pay for JT and JJ’s wardrobe malfunction?  It’s ridiculous that you have to be 50 to get on stage.  Every year, I think this is the year that I’ll finally get my Troy and Gabriella Super Bowl Musical performance, but alas! who knows if that day will ever come. 

Commercials: Apparently, 3D is officially back.  On my quarterly trip to the supermarket, I saw a stand with 3D glasses to be used to view Dreamworks’ Super Bowl commercial.   This is super exciting not because I like commercials or free 3D glass but rather it is even more evidence that Billy Ray Cyrus is a marketing genius.  Of course, 3D glasses became cool again this summer with Hannah Montana’s Best of Both Worlds concert movie in 3D.  Having a 3D Super Bowl commercial that will be seen by over 90 million viewers just solidifies the far reaching influence Billy Ray has on America culture. 

A: Actually, no

We’ve advised you on music to listen to, books to read and activities to fill your life with happiness.  Now it’s time to help you with your career. By many standards, we’ve had success in our professional lives.  We’ve climbed the proverbial ladder and earn respectable livings.  Want to know the secret to our success?  Defiance.  Yep, it’s that simple.   Management respects defiance. Always.   How do you start incorporating defiance into your work life?  Glad you asked.  Here are some simple steps:

•  Start perceiving everyone as a coworker whether they are your boss or not. Remember this is American and there is no such thing as indentured servitude.   

• When you are right and someone else is wrong, you should say it.  You probably know more than you give yourself credit for.

• When you have a good idea, you should make it happen.  Even if it’s not your job.  Even if no one else supports you.    

• If a coworker (including your boss) is being a bully, refuse to put up with it.   Period.

•  No manager worth working for wants a yes girl.  So, go to work, learn how to do your job well and then start saying no.  

 Saying no is the best place to start your new defiant you.   It’s super fun. And super effective.  You should try it.  Start slow.  Once a week, say no to your boss.  It really works.  Even CNN agrees. And its such an important topic that Forbes has featured a series of saying no at work...in pictures.  Check it out here.

Think about kids.  One of the first words kids learn is always ‘no’.  Kids innately understand they need to be defiant to get what they want in life.  Most times, they say ‘no’ even when they don’t mean it. They recognize they have a will and they want to exercise it.  Because it’s fun and its normal.  Of course, over the next 18 years, kids learn to be obedient in order to be successful in school.  Well, now you are an adult and no one is stopping you from saying ‘no’ except yourself. The mentality of obedience that made you successful in schoolrooms will not take you far in corporate America. 

Now for the obligatory disclaimer.  Don’t get carried away.  We are not advising you to show up to work two hours late or just be rude at the office.  What we advise is to not fear authority.  When you resist it on a regular basis, people will start to perceive you as a decision maker and a leader.  Being a leader results in financial payoffs and more freedom at work.  And at the end of the day, if we can’t be one of the fortunate souls who are independently wealthy, we can at least strive for a job that affords us more independence and money.

A/C: Amy & Caitlyn's infinite playlist

Whilst reading this blog, we highly recommend that you listen to the following songs to get the full sensory experience:

Current hits:

Selena Gomez Tell Me Something I Don't Know (Best probing life question: "How many inches in a mile?")

Britney Spear If You Seek Amy (Common problem with Amys:  "Is she smokin' up outside?")

Miley Cyrus Wake Up America (Best Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? question: "Global warming, going green...I don't know what all this means?")

Jonas Bros Video Girl (The JoBros advanced medical knowledge: "I'm not going to be another victim of the video girl syndrome")

MIranda Cosgrove About You Now (Acceptance is the first step to recovery: "Yeah I lied")

Demi Lavato La La Land (Damn teens and their metabolism: "I'm not a supermodel, I still eat McDonald's")

Ashely Tisdale (as Sharpay) I Want It All (Words of wisdom: "I Want It All")

Classics:

Miley Cyrus (as Hannah Montana) Best of Both Worlds

Hilary Duff (as Lizzie McGuire) What Dreams Are Made Of

Lindsay Lohan (as daughter in Freaky Friday) Ultimate

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens (as Troy & Gabriella) Breaking Free