I know, you are thinking that I'm being sarcastic or have consumed too much wine. Neither is true (though I seriously wish I had consumed some wine instead of the dayquil that I'm rockin' right now....more on that later). As the 29-year old mother (yes, I'm really 29...seriously....look at my driver's license) of a 2-year old boy, I have come to realize that JLS is way smarter than anyone gives her credit for.
Here is the thing about kids - they consume every last ounce of energy you possess on a daily basis and then keep mining for more. They leave you in a state of sheer exhaustion every second of everyday. Here is the thing about teenagers - they have energy. Sooooo, if you pair them together in a teenage mother scenario, you have created the perfect equation. What's that? You want me to expound on this theory....my pleasure:
- Teens have crazy amounts of energy - they just act lazy to fool their parents. Point-in-case, when I was 17, I spent every night of an entire summer staying out until at least 2am participating in various shenanigans and then I woke up every morning at 6am to go to my 7am - 4pm job. Day in, day out. I fueled myself on donuts and coffee and cup-o-noodle soup and thought of it as my best summer ever. Going months on 4 hours of sleep is precisely the skill required for successful parenting.
- Exhausted parents make the same decisions as teenagers - at least 10 times a day I make a knowingly horrible parenting decision because I do not have the energy to make the right decision. For example, my son has McDonald's french fries for dinner 2-3x a week. Now I know that french fries are not a nutritious dinner choice, but I just cannot seem to gather the energy to combat his screeching of "eat" on our way home from daycare and the thought of cooking dinner is hilarious. A teen might feed her child french fries not realizing it is a sub par meal but no matter the reason - exhaustion or ignorance, the kid gets a crappy dinner.
- Teenagers have stronger immune systems than adults - back to the dayquil. My son is always sick. My son always gets me sick. I am always sick and taking care of a sick child. It sucks. When I was a teenager, I got sick once. Once in 4 years.
- Kids are money vacuums - no matter how much money you have, they will consume every last cent you have. If you have lots of excess funds, then you will find yourself buying every toy in Target and a new outfit for everyday. You will buy the most expensive diapers and pay for the most expensive health care and daycare and every other kind of care. And then you will have no more excess funds. Same holds true if you do not have a lot of money (like a teen mother, perhaps), but you will just spend less in total. Instead of spending all your money on crap, you will have to allocate your limited funds to things that matter (food) and your kid will likely be better off in the long run.
- Having kids early means you get rid of kids early - young adults are moving back home after college and remaining financially dependent on their parents until their mid-20's (a depressing 77% of recent college grads end up back home). So if you have kids at 30, you are going to be financially tied down until you are at least 55. If you have kids at 18, then you reach financial freedom at the ripe young age of 43. With an average life expectancy of 78, that gives you nearly 35 years of fun before you kick it. You get to spend you prime earning years actually enjoying those earnings.
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