C: I'm an HBO ho

So, the other day I found myself in a conversation about Mormonism and I thought to my self "Why am I always finding myself in conversations about the Amish and/or Mormonism?" and then I remembered that it is because I, myself, start these conversations. In fact, I obsessively find ways to work it into a conversation, albeit often to very awkward results.

"Can you please print out a copy of those financials"

"Sure, since we have electricity I can easily print those out for you. Do you know who doesn't have electricity? The Amish. Do you know that when they turn 18, the Amish are allowed to go on a rumspringa and just go crazy and do drugs and have sex all the time and their parents don't even care?!?!"

Anyways, back to Mormonism.

My recent obsession is due to Big Love- the HBO series. In fact, I can tie just about all of my awkward conversations to whatever HBO series is shown Sunday nights at 9pm EST/10pm CST. All Fall, I couldn't shut up about vampires, now it is polygamist communes. They are just so gripping, I find the need to talk about each episode the entire following week. I once derailed a business book club meeting (it is not really optional to attend these....clearly) discussion of the book Good to Great to discuss whether it was better to date a vampire or a shape-shifter who turns into a dog...this led to a very in-depth discussion of the optimal animal to shape-shift into, if ever given the choice.

By the way, the only acceptable answer is a large cat of some kind. I will accept: lion, tiger, panther, leopard, or mountain lion.

Anyways, back to Mormonism.

I was first introduced to Mormonism by my friend in 2nd grade - Rebecca something-rather. She invited me to her church for "bring your friend day" (okay, so maybe it wasn't called that) where we played fun games and had snacks. We drove there in her family's 12-person van. It was huge. Her dad was an Army Chaplain (I'm an Army brat btw).

I then was reintroduced in Middle School, when our neighbors were Mormon. They had 4 girls, 4 boys ranging in age from 22 to 6. They were all blond, blue-eyed and totally perfect. Their dad was also an Army Chaplain...I believe that the only options for Mormons outside of Utah must be to become an Army Chaplain. They invited my sister to church with them all of the time and even gave her a Book of Mormon as a Christmas gift [be sure to check this site out as it allows you to chat live with a Mormon...nice]. My mom will totally deny they were trying to convert her, but I now know the truth.

The reason I find Mormonism so incredibly fascinating is for the following reasons (I DARE you to find these things UNINTERESTING....it is impossible):

• Every Mormon I have ever known (all 3) have been the nicest human beings in the world, all day, every day. Their families are perfect and loving and supportive. They have "family nights" and do nothing on Sundays. There is just something so odd about that in the 21st century. It just drives me to search harder for flaws.
• They have to wear special, sacred underpants. They can only take them off for the 3 S's: sex, shower, swimming. I know this because my friend Cindy told me so and she knows lots about underpants. Check it at www.mormonunderwear.com- I'm really upset that this url is taken, my plans are dashed.
• Though generally denied as a church-approved practice, polygamy still runs rampant in some Mormon communities. I know this because (a) I watch Big Love (b) I researched it for an hour in Barnes and Noble and (c) I read People magazine. I just do not quite understand why anyone would ever, in a million zillion years, think that having more than one spouse is a good idea. Living with just one spouse is challenging enough. Though, on the upside, polygamists generally develop excellent organizational skills with all of their child-rearing, chore and sex schedules.
• I watched this episode of South Park. Here is a very convient play-by-play comparison between the actual BOM (Book o' Mormon)  and South Park's version. Wow, people have lots of free time.

Maybe HBO will come out with a show all about how to be more successful in work and life and air it on Sunday nights at 9pm EST/10pm CST so I can benefit from my weakness....but then again, I probably wouldn't watch that show anyways.

Comments

[Amy]

other reasons that make mormon's fascinating are:

-their ability to produce amazing ya-lit. stephenie meyer and shannon hale two of my favorite mormons and also two of my favorite authors

-their survivalist tendencies. the fact that all mormons have a year supply of food stored in their house and the knowledge of what to do with raw grain makes them heroes in my eyes because if the apocalypse comes (like all the books i read says it will http://tinyurl.com/c4mput), i plan to go straight to the mormoms for help.

[Caitlyn]

One more that I completely forgot:
- They don't consume caffeine and yet still stay awake and do stuff; that alone qualifies them as super-heroes or something